This year’s Christmas season is my 4th one eversince I came here to Hawaii. From the previous 3, I wasn’t really all by myself. But this year is different. My roommate is not home, all my close friends are on their missions, my other close friend is now living in Idaho with her hubby, and my better half is 5 hours away from me (if you fly!). I have some friends who invited me to celebrate Christmas with them but I don’t know, I feel like I just wanna be myself and have some time for myself.
Well, I guess I made a little bit of mistake doing that… especially now that I’m playing the Christmas songs that my Dad always played back home. Having called them at 7am this morning (1am of Tues. there) and having heard my brothers make fun of about anything at all made me miss home much more. I heard them making fun of our first real Christmas tree (artificial one) because we used to only use the improvised ones. I don’t know what they were talking about but I could hear them laughing at the kitchen while I was on the phone with my younger sister. I could hear some of them teasing the gifts that they received and laughing here and there, and they were teasing me too about the “news” that I told them. My sister begged me to come over so that they won’t have to pick on her alone. How I miss all of them! It sure did bring back memories to me. I’ve held my tears for 12 hours now and I’m pretty good at it in the past Christmas days that I had too. But I guess deciding to be by myself today is a little bit of a mistake because I think my tears are about to fall and there’s nobody here in my family to catch them for me.
I kept myself busy for the past 6 hours, trying to make cards (wanna see it?) for my close friends. I can’t imagine it took me 6 hours to make 4 cards. I’m really slow at making them coz I’m trying to build up an idea/design from scratch. I don’t have any books to look into and I am lazy to browse the internet when I’m excited to create my own already. The music in my laptop right now is making me feel nostalgic. Why am I even playing these songs?
Aside from that, I can say this is probably the best Christmas that I had here in Hawaii. I’ve never had a serious talk with my mom for a long time but today we did for about 10 minutes. It’s so cool how you can open up to your parents. My dad’s totally changed, I’m surprised! Another reason this is the best Christmas is that, other than my side of the family, Jesse’s side of the family finally heard of the news.
The idea I came up with tonight is to count the blessings I’ve received this whole year, and how many good deeds I’ve done to make up for the bad ones I made (lol), and remember our Savior… that this season is celebrated for Him. Maybe I can find someone tonight who is lonely like me or probably even more and extend a hand to him/her and make their (and mine) Christmas great! 🙂